i'm no longer the "cool" aunt

Since the beginning of time, (ok, not the ACTUAL beginning of time, but the beginning of my time as an aunt) I've prided myself on being the "cool" aunt. You know, the one who buys the fun toys that make lots of noise; the aunt who feeds you cupcakes for breakfast; the aunt who lets you stay up past your bedtime watching movies and eating candy. I've done a pretty good job of maintaining my status as the "cool" aunt the "favorite" aunt.  That was until recently. I knew this day would come and I've been dreading it. I knew one day, I would have to forgo my title of "cool" aunt and be that horrible, awful, mean UNCOOL aunt. I'd hoped it would never happen, but it did.

I've mentioned before that I have adorable nieces and nephews! Well, I also have teenage nieces and nephews. Maybe not adorable, but still awesome.  It is very interesting to notice how different their growing up years are compared to when I was a teenager. There were far fewer distractions - no cell phones, no internet and a paltry 9 channels to watch on TV.  There was one phone in the house that was shared to call friends to play, all my friendships were "real life" and not cyber-related and I played outside almost everyday (OK, I did grow up in Southern California so that was pretty easy to do) These days there are a million different means of communication and you can have a friendship without ever meeting face-to-face. As great as all these modern conveniences are, they definitely come with some drawbacks.

Unfortunately, there are no classes taught and no manuals provided for the usage of all these new forms of communication and social media tools. I was recently reminded just how dangerous (maybe hurtful is a better term) these devices can be.  Recently, there was an "incident" involving Facebook, my teenage niece and me (and this is where I became, the UNCOOL aunt) I won't share the details because that would entirely defeat the purpose of why I am now the UNCOOL aunt. Let's just leave it at this - an inappropriate statement was posted to Facebook and I happened to be the one to see it. In that moment, I had to make a decision; and initially, I didn't make the decision that would lead to me being the UNCOOL aunt. I saw the comment, and posted a comment of my own saying how much I disliked what was being said. And then it hit me, the moment has arrived! I must now cross that barrier and become the UNCOOL aunt. Oh, the dreaded day had arrived.  I made the hard choice, the wise choice, the DREADED choice and determined that this was the day for me to be the UNCOOL aunt. I called my niece and ask that she remove the offending comment. I know she was frustrated, annoyed and probably even a bit angry with me, but she obliged my request and immediately removed the comment along with my tag  of "cool" aunt.

I share this not to embarrass my niece and not even to point out to the world that I am now the UNCOOL aunt, but to determine how do kids learn what is and isn't appropriate to post in a public forum. Because let's face it, Facebook, myspace, Twitter; they are all public forums even if you can block people from seeing you and select who your friends are. I didn't even have to worry about this when I was growing up! If I got frustrated at something that a family member did, it wasn't even an option to broadcast it to the world. At most I could call a friend, but remember how there was only one phone in the house! Yep, everyone could hear that conversation so there was no way I was making offensive comments because the entire family would hear. Life is certainly different now than when I was a teenager. In fact, I think its much more difficult. I may now be the UNCOOL aunt, but I still want to be there for all my nieces and nephews. They may not realize it, but I am that safe haven they can call and ask anything (and 99.9% of the time I won't share our conversation with their parents). I think I'm a much better sounding board than the world wide web, but what do I know, I am tne UNCOOL aunt!

I hope to one day shun the UNCOOL aunt title and regain my "cool" aunt title. Maybe then my nieces (and nephews) will realize they can call me and talk to me about their frustrations instead of broadcasting them for the world to see. Until then, I'll enjoy my UNCOOL title. I know I earned it. And truth be told, I'd again make that DREADED choice that lead to me being the UNCOOL aunt!