can you keep a secret?

Psst....Psst....come closer. No, a little closer.  Want to know a secret? Can you keep a secret? Are you a good secret keeper? Oh Internet, you're not a good secret keeper. Well, thanks for your honesty; I appreciate that.  I guess I'll go else where to share my secret.

I've recently learned that finding a good confidant is not an easy task. I'm not the most trusting person and am very cautious with who I share things with. Unfortunately, I've made an error recently and shared the wrong information with the wrong person. Information that I thought was shared in confidence has been leaked; feelings have been hurt and bridges have been burned. None of this was intentional, but it still happened and hopefully those feelings will heal and bridges will be mended, but it will take time.

I hope that I have learned my lesson. I now know to be very careful what I share with others. There are highly sensitive pieces of information I know should only be shared with my therapist (after all, he's taken an oath and I do pay him well to keep my secrets) However, I don't only need him on a Wednesday afternoon and for a full hour. What about those times when I need a confidant on a Thursday morning for 5 minutes? Who do I turn to? How do you determine who is the best confidant and who you can trust with your deepest fears and secrets? We all need a sounding board; someone to talk things out with. I had no malicious intent with the things I've discussed; I was merely looking for feedback, understanding and some advice. I always thought I was good at sharing the right information withe the right people, but recent events have proved me wrong.

I will be more cautious in the future. Maybe I need to adopt the approach I do with Posh (you know, my adorable 3 year old niece). She and I play a little game. I'll pick her up and ask her, "do you want to know a secret?" She always responds, "yes!" I then whisper in her ear, "I love you!" To which she responds, "Want to know a secret? I love you!" I then whisper in her ear, "No, I love you" and she does the exact same thing. This goes on for a couple of minutes with both of us trying to share this secret with the other as often as we can. Obviously, I don't care if this secret gets out and when I share a "secret" with Posh or her sister Lula (she's 6 and much more mature!) I know it will likely get out. Perhaps I need to realize that even adults, with no intention of breaking a confidence, will often let that secret slip. Without malicious intent, it will get out and feelings may be hurt in the process. Now feelings must be mended, bridges must be rebuilt and wounds must be healed. Wish me luck in this process!

Side note: No, this post is not about you. In fact, I doubt the person in question even reads this blog (hello, I only have 3 readers). Please don't have your feelings hurt or get upset with me. I don't know that my emotions can handle that right now.