let them eat cake

Recently, the Cookie celebrated her 9th birthday. I can't believe the girl is getting so old! It wasn't that long ago (ok, its been 5 years but it seems like just yesterday!) that she and I would watch the Food Network together, decide if the meal looked "good enough to eat" and then do the shopping and the cooking. We had a great time! (Probably one of the highlights of living with my brother, his wife and their then only 3 kids)  Since her mom was very pregnant with #6, I offered to make the Cookie's birthday cake.

She wanted a chocolate, chocolate chip cake with chocolate frosting and chocolate chip garnishes. Yes, this was the request of a 9 year old girl. Initially I tried to convince her that it was way too much chocolate and perhaps we should have just plain buttercream frosting (because that wouldn't be as rich!) Being the wonderfully sweet and kind girl that she is she agreed that this compromise would be acceptable. And then I realized something, why should she not have exactly what she wanted on her birthday! Who cares if there would be people at the party who aren't lovers of chocolate and wouldn't eat the cake? Should it really matter that what she wanted was so rich and decadent that most people would eat a very small amount or none at all? Within moments of convincing her to change her order, I went back to the original plan and agreed to a chocolate, chocolate chip cake with chocolate frosting and chocolate chips as garnish.

Later that day, after I'd headed home and began thinking of which recipes in my arsenal I would use, I realized something. You see, I'm a people pleaser. A people pleaser to a fault! I will forgo my favorite meal in order to meet the needs and likes of other people (even on my birthday). I will compromise on the dessert I want because someone in attendance doesn't like a certain ingredient. I will give up items that I like or want because I perceive that someone else wants them more than me. I am a total people pleaser and at times, I hate this quality! I'm not condoning selfish behavior nor am I condoning always giving into the wants of others. Yes, life is about compromise but sometimes, ESPECIALLY on your birthday, you're allowed to be selfish and put your needs first. It is something I struggle with and something I am working on in my life.

I learned something very valuable from the Cookie. You see, she didn't act selfishly or even complain when I asked her to make a compromise. She was so willing to give up her wishes, even on her special day. But I realized, why should my people pleasing ways infringe on her desires. She knew what she wanted and because it was her special day, she didn't care what others would think. So, I made her a triple layer chocolate, chocolate chip cake with cream cheese chocolate frosting and a chocolate chip garnish. I arrived at the house the day of her birthday (with at cake that weighed in at close to 10 lbs - no joke!) The look of sheer joy on her face when she saw the cake made all my hard work worth it. It was EXACTLY what she wanted! The cake was unbelievably rich; most people couldn't even finish their tiny pieces. And, even those who claimed to HATE chocolate proceeded to eat an entire piece.

If you were wondering, she's already requested the exact same cake for her birthday next year! And, I'm working on being a people pleaser only 90% of the time (instead of my usual 99.5% of the time)!