dating in the UC

The other day I went to lunch with my sister Mandy and Lucky (her adorable 18 month old daughter). As Mandy is visiting from Texas, we headed to one of my favorite Provo eateries: Nicolitalia. As we walked into the restaurant, there were a lot of people milling about the parking lot. We thought, "we got here at the right time" as about 20 people entered the restaurant behind us. We ordered our food and found a table in the back.

As we were enjoying our salads, this man who looked exactly like a British literature professor approached our table. Seriously, he had on a sweater vest, tweed jacket with elbow patches and a full beard; the only thing missing was the pipe. He stopped by to tell me that he really liked my boots.  However, he and his friends were wondering if I was going to be out in the field plowing later that day. I was wearing my wellies as I'm known to do on rainy days.  I told him "thanks, but no I wouldn't be out plowing in the fields or working the irrigation line" or any other such non-sense.  He walked away very satisfied with his witty remark about my attire.

A full 10 minutes later, he again approaches our table to ask me if I'm here for the "singles lunch group."  Before I can reply, he immediately turns to my sister and says, "I know you're not single, (he apparently noticed the giant rock adorning her left ring finger) but are you single?" I mumbled a "yea" not really wanting to admit to my singleness to this stranger.  And then proceeded to ask again, "Are you here for the singles lunch?"  I wish I could say that I simply told him no, but I didn't.  Instead I uttered, quite audibly, "Do I look desperate and pathetic." The thought of how offensive my remark was didn't even occur to me, before I said it, as I was saying it or even immediately following my saying it.  Fortunately, he didn't pick up on it either as he proceeded to talk to me.

There are only a few random details that I remember following my quite rude outburst.  1) I had to ask him to repeat his name twice 2) His creepy friend came bounding over to the table and my sister flashed her ring with even more gusto and 3) This line, to the great amusement of my sister, was used not once, but twice: "She's single, but not old enough to date" (while gesturing toward my 18 month old niece)

After these 2 single 30 somethings that, through sheer coincidence, were at the same restaurant as me returned to their table, I almost apologized to the couple sitting behind us.  What a horribly awkward encounter to be forced to witness.

It's always flattering to be singled out (pun intended). And, if nothing else, I'm always good for a funny "single" story and have no problem with others laughing at my expense.